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Past Ponderings

Sunday, February 4, 2018

PONDERING... Why would we talk about divorce on a Sunday morning? (Mark 10:1-12)

VIDEO
Why Would We Talk About Divorce On A Sunday Morning? (Am Sermon Notes)
GIST: Marriage is a gift from God not to be entered into lightly nor left casually.
SCRIPTURE: Mark 10:1-12
1 And he left there and went to the region of Judea and beyond the Jordan, and crowds gathered to him again. And again, as was his custom, he taught them.
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.”5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
10 And in the house the disciples asked him again about this matter. 11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”


The title I gave today’s message is: “Why Would We Talk About Divorce On A Sunday Morning?”. If any of you had been looking ahead at the passages, you might have wanted to ask me the same question! I want to start by admitting that this passage is hard for me to preach on. It’s been a real struggle this week. I have often told you I am convicted about preaching through books of the Bible because “I don’t want to skip stuff”. Well, this is one of those “stuffs” I likely would have skipped, because I’m a coward, and I know how touchy this topic is. In fact, as soon as I posted the “sneak peek” on Saturday, my sinful nature reacted with, “Well, attendance will probably be down tomorrow.” ☺
Yet, what has weighed on me is not whether or not divorce should be addressed. We hear the statistics all the time. Nearly half of all marriages in this country, including Christian-marriages, end in divorce. It’s not part of God’s original plan, and its destructive effects are often widespread-- affecting not only the immediate couple, but also their children and extended families. This is a serious issue we shouldn’t ignore. That isn’t the hard part of this message. The hard part is knowing there are many couples here who have been divorced and are currently in remarriages which honor God, and are, in fact, wonderful examples of Christian service.
So, let’s just take the elephant out of the room from the beginning here. Divorce isn’t good. Even where the Bible allows for it (situations of infidelity and abandonment by non-believing spouses), it is never given as a requirement, and it still causes much hurt. Yet, this is not a sermon to browbeat divorcees. Divorce results from sin. Either your sin directly caused the divorce, or the sin of your spouse directly affected you in the divorce. Either way, sin is the issue. Right? So let’s establish this right here. Divorce breaks God’s standard and His design, so does lusting, and having sex outside of marriage, and lying, and gossipping, and being arrogant, and stealing, and hating...etc. Divorce is not a special sin that makes you somehow worse than everyone else. We’re all equally in need of a Savior.  “What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?” (Romans 6:1-2) Don’t take this an excuse to divorce. Take this as a reminder of the beauty of Jesus’ redemptive grace!
So, why would we talk about divorce on a Sunday morning (what’s the gist)? Marriage is a gift from God not to be entered into lightly nor left casually.


I. THE CONFLICT: SHOULD WE DIVORCE?
Now that I’ve basically preached the whole sermon in the introduction ☺, let’s walk through what’s actually happening in this text. Jesus has left Galilee and is traveling through Judea on His way to Jerusalem. We’re less than a month away from His crucifixion. On the way, crowds continue to flock to Him, and He continues to teach them. It’s during this teaching that the Pharisees come up and try to trap Him...again. This isn’t the first time they’ve tried to stump Him with a “hard question” that would put Him at odds with “popular opinion”, but it is very deliberate in this context.
Divisive Issue. First off, this was a divisive issue amongst the Jewish leaders. You want a modern connection? There were two debating sides on the issue of divorce. One said it should only be done for circumstances of infidelity and the other said it could be done for basically any reason. Of course, they rested the issue upon the shoulders of the husbands, as well. A wife could divorce her husband, but it was a far more involved and specialized scenario. As could be assumed, the more popular opinion was the one that allowed for willy-nilly divorces, and the results weren’t positive. In fact, life for a divorced woman, especially, would have often led to destitution because, if not remarried, she would have no way of providing for herself.
Dangerous Setting. When you add to this the physical setting, I think we have a pretty clear picture of why this particular question was being asked. They’re in the region of Perea...which is under the oversight of Herod Antipas (“under the oversight”☺... That made me chuckle). Remember him? He’s the guy who ended up having John the Baptist’s head cut off. What was it about John that made Herod, and maybe even more so his wife, hate John so much? Mark 6:17-18, “17 For it was Herod who had sent and seized John and bound him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip's wife, because he had married her. 18 For John had been saying to Herod, “It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife.” He condemned their marriage. Do you see what the Pharisees are doing here? Talking about divorce had gotten John killed. Maybe they can get Herod to do the same to Jesus.
I think John Calvin put it well when he said, “The occasion of this quibbling was, that the reply, in whatever way it were given, could not, as they thought, fail to be offensive.”


II. The Response: You’re Missing the Point.
Misuse of Scripture. So, how did Jesus respond? He pointed them back to Scripture! He asks them what Moses had commanded them, and “4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” They are referencing Deuteronomy 24:1-4* which is not a passage about whether or not someone should get a divorce, but about not remarrying your previous spouse after you divorce her. Jesus says Moses wrote them this because their “hardness of hearts”, their sin. Knowing they were going to get divorces, he set up provisions for not flippantly leaving a spouse and coming back to her later if their second option didn’t work out. The core issue in that passage is the same as it is here: not taking seriously the covenant of marriage.
(* John MacArthur covers this verse in much more detail. See the link at the bottom of this post.)
Missing the Core Issue: Sanctity of Marriage. Does this sound familiar? Remember in Chapter 7 when the Pharisees tried to trip Jesus up with a question about why His disciples weren’t washing their hands before they ate grains from the field? Jesus responded with: ‘You’re missing the point! Dirty hands aren’t the issue; sin is!” We’ve got a very similar situation going on here. They’re asking about the permissibility of divorce, but are forgetting that the real issue is the sanctity of marriage. God’s intention for marriage was never divorce: “9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate”. It’s not man’s institution. It’s His. Thus, as I said in the opening, regardless of circumstances, divorce is always the result of sin. This could be on one side or both, but if sin was not part of the equation, divorce wouldn’t be either. They are trying to get Him to side with one of the two sides of the day, and He tells them the only reason those sides even exist is because there is a bigger issue!
He then takes them back to the Scripture again. They had tried to misuse God’s Word, so He points them to the real heart of the matter. He takes them back to Genesis 1 which demonstrates God’s design from the beginning: monogamous, heterosexual marriage. One man and one woman becoming one flesh… forever. There are those called to singleness, but for those called to marry, it is the most important relationship in your life. Who can you marry? Anyone with whom you can grow closer to Christ, a fellow believer of the opposite gender. Once there, you’re intended to stay there.
The disciples had a question about this when they were back home, and Jesus further explains that it is the responsibility of both the husband and the wife to remain faithful in marriage. This might seem like a redundant statement, but remember at this time, men were given far more liberties than women. Here is the emphasis is placed on the need for both to remain faithful and not cause the other to sin.
Discipleship/Sanctification Connection? And that seems to be why this passage happens here. Think about the context. We’ve just been talking about humility and service as marks of a true Christian. The next two accounts are going to illustrate the need for wholehearted dependence on Christ. Smack in the middle is this teaching on marriage. Is this just a random side note? Not at all! Marriage isn’t going to be easy, but it is designed to help you grow in your walk with Christ. For that to happen, you’re going to both need a healthy dose of humility which is fueled by a mutual understanding of your dependence on Christ!
Symbol of our Union with Christ. And as a last note here, I just want to point this out. Think of the imagery God uses to describe His relation to His Church, His people. Often we’re called His bride-which isn’t something He takes lightly. We shouldn’t either.


TAKEAWAYS
1. Marriage is a gift from God.
From the beginning, God designed marriage. It won’t always be easy because you’re taking two sinners and asking them to pursue Christ in close proximity to each other! Nonetheless, it is meant to build us up in our walk with Jesus.
2. Take it seriously.
It should not be entered into lightly, nor should it be left casually.
3. And remember both His grace and forgiveness. In the midst of the struggle, He is gracious. For this sin in particular, and for all sins, He died. Why?
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:25-27


Here are a few links to helpful sermons on this topic:
Steve Wilmhurst, Ransom for Many

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